รายละเอียดตัวอย่าง

＋There is an ongoing concern about whether the increase in retirement age in several countries is justified. While this shift may have some shortcomings, I firmly believe that its advantages are far more substantial.

Admittedly, raising the retirement age may lead to a higher unemployment rate. When experienced workers remain longer in the workforce, employers are less likely to recruit new laborers. Consequently, new graduates in competitive fields such as technology or finance may face significant challenges entering the labour market, which leads to increased youth unemployment and frustration. Additionally, some employees face physical and mental decline as they get older, which could hinder their ability to maintain productivity. Over time, this may result in a low-quality workforce which directly inhibits the nation's economic growth.On the other hand, extending the retirement age offers substantial financial benefits for society. As people's life expectancy increases, financial burdens regarding accommodations and healthcare systems also significantly increase. Therefore, by extending the working age, the government can both minimize the strain on these systems and assist people in meeting their living expenses. This move also means that elderly workers can contribute longer to the labour market, which could promote economic prosperity. Moreover, older employees can pass down their wisdom to the younger generation; for example, senior engineers often act as mentors, accelerating the training process for junior staff. As a result, this transfer of knowledge could potentially lead to a more skillful and professional workforce, fostering innovation and productivity.

In conclusion, although increasing the retirement age can trigger some issues related to unemployment and health problems, I strongly believe that this shift provides essential merits such as alleviating financial pressure and boosting economic growth